Is this your family? |
Many would rather stay home |
What’s Stopping Parents? |
The author fit the profile. |
The reason for Finding Your Way Home |
“Whys” of a Home Based Lifestyle |
Facing Fears |
Transitioning
Is this your family?
Mom and Dad both work. Kids go to daycare or school, then on
to soccer, ballet, gymnastics, swim practice, chess team, hockey
or other extracurricular activities. Preteens and teens come
home to empty houses. Family dinners are rare. Evenings are
a rushed blur of eating on the go, homework, household chores,
computer and television time, baths and finally exhausted crashes
into bed. Weekends don’t offer much respite from the hectic
workweek, with kid’s competitions, sports, more household
chores and errands. Sunday church services are frequently left
behind. Unstructured time for any of the family is nonexistent.
Moms and dads and kids are barely cordial to each other. The
kids rule. Teens are disrespectful and heading toward trouble.
Youngsters are unruly at school. Marriages have lost intimacy.
Stress is overwhelming. Family members are frequently sick.
Money seems to fly out the window and no one knows where it
goes. The work and spend treadmill is the only recreational
exercise anyone gets.
Rather depressing, isn’t it? But unfortunately, it seems
to be the norm for the modern American family. Always in motion,
strained and overwhelmed –this seems to describe so many
of our lives. One of the most compelling factors in this appalling
state of the family is the increase in two-income families,
where both parents work outside the home.
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Many would rather stay home
In fact, according to the Statistical Abstract of the United
States, over sixteen million U.S. families include two working
parents. However, many would prefer to have a parent stay home
to raise the children and tend to the home and family. According
to a recent survey by Rob Reiner’s I Am Your Child Foundation,
two out of three working parents would rather stay home to raise
their kids than work.
Sally Lee, editor of Parent's magazine has said, "Parents
fear they are losing control over their own children." She
also stated that parents believe they're just not spending enough
time with their children.
Parents are working more. Joel Benenson, a national pollster,
recently reported that parents are working 640 hours more each
year than they were in the 1970s. Mom and Dad, he said, are
cramming 14 months of work into a year.
Parents feel increasingly threatened by the negative and pervasive
influences of television, video games, the internet and even
kids in the neighborhood. The most important protective measure
to combat these threats is, according to Mr. Reiner's foundation,
parental involvement in the life of the child.
Many parents do want to spend more time with their kids and
be there for them. Dr. Laura Schlessinger states that the most
frequent question asked on her radio show is: “How do
I become a stay-at-home parent?” Parents are afraid of
the outcome if they don't make a change. So what's stopping
them?
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What’s Stopping Parents?
The answer is fear and lack of time. Fear of inadequate finances.
Fear of not living up to an education or career prospects. Fear
that quitting a job to be at home will reduce the at-home parent
to a life of household drudgery and brain atrophy. Fear of getting
no respect for one's chosen path. Fear of making a change. Fear
of the unknown.
Making a lifestyle change requires time. Time to think about
and plan a way out of the rat race. Time to stop and envision
a better way of life. Working parents hit the ground running
every day - racing from home to daycare, school, jobs, after
school childcare, children's activities, errands and back home.
Time at home is taken up with chores, kids' homework, office
work, baths, TV, the computer and finally, a little sleep. Millions
of families get up the next day and do it all over again. There
is no time to think, no time to reflect, no real quality time
with the children, no time to live.
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The author fit the profile.
Six years ago, the author of Finding Your Way Home was one
of those impossibly busy working parents; desperately searching
for a way out of the rat race and home to her family. Her young
children were in full time day care and experiencing discipline
problems. She and her husband were constantly on the go at work
and at home. Their marriage was falling apart from the stress,
their family life was non-existent and her health was suffering
to the brink of hospitalization.
It took Lucynda Koesters six years and, by her own admission,
one ton of courage to quit a professional marketing career in
order to find her way home. During those working years her desire
to be at home was strong, but the fear factor was stronger.
Simply voicing - out loud - her desire to quit working, took
several years. Admitting that desire was only the first step.
Explaining why she wanted to quit to husband, family, friends
and co-workers was step two. The questions and concerns of others
were endless: Why do you want to quit? Children do fine in day
care. Everyone works. You can't throw away your education. You
can't support your lifestyle on one income. It's impossible
to turn your ship around and steam off in a different direction.
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The reason for Finding Your Way Home
While her mind and heart were telling her that she and her
family would be better off with a parent at home, she found
very little written information to support that desire, and
more importantly, exactly how to make a successful transition
out of the work force. Ms. Koesters scoured libraries and bookstores
for books on the subject of transitioning to a simpler one-income
lifestyle. She was discouraged to find very little written on
the subject of planning a way out of the working parent rat
race. Questions she had while going through this process remained
unanswered: Where do I start? Who do I talk to? Is it really
that important to be at home? What are my options? How do I
overcome the fear? How do I plan to quit? Can we afford to lose
my income? What will everyone think? How can I overcome my partner's
resistance? Will my family be better off? Will I be happier
at home? After muddling through her own transition and making
hundreds of discoveries along the way, Ms. Koesters decided
to write her own "how-to" manual, entitled: Finding
Your Way Home, How to Become a Successful Stay-at-Home Parent.
The author’s own questions and more are answered in this
definitive guide book. Finding Your Way Home also provides one-step-at-a-time
action plans needed to implement a new lifestyle for the whole
family.
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The “Whys” of a Home Based Lifestyle
Through a combination of research, interviews and personal
experience, Ms. Koesters found many solid reasons to come home
to her family. These reasons became the foundation of her book
- the compelling "whys.” Understanding your own "whys" -
why you want to quit, and then becoming totally committed to
those "whys" are the first steps in turning a desire
for a simpler lifestyle into a reality.
Part I of Finding Your Way Home covers the "whys.” Some
of them include: The tremendously positive benefit of nurturing
and caring for children of all ages - infant through teen -
by an at-home parent, saving your health - both mental and physical
- from the horrendous effects of a too-stressful life, creating
a safe, peaceful haven for spouse and family and gaining control
over your time. Part I details ten compelling reasons to find
your way home (Ten Compelling Reasons).These compelling "whys" give
readers the ammunition needed to face the inevitable resistance
to change.
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Facing Fears
Facing fear is step two on the road home to a more positive
lifestyle. Fear can be a large obstacle to making any kind of
change, but not one that is impossible to overcome. Part II
of Finding Your Way Home outlines a step-by-step process to
take away the fear - by using decisive, one-at-a-time action
steps to systematically examine, plan and execute an exit out
of the dual working-parent rat race into a calmer, more sane
and happier lifestyle. This section extensively details the
family budget, methods of cutting expenses and paring down two
income streams into one. These ten courage-building strategies
(Gaining Courage) detailed in Part II of Finding Your Way
Home will build confidence that an at-home lifestyle can be within
grasp.
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Transitioning
Part III of Finding Your Way Home helps the parent transition
from a working life to an at-home lifestyle successfully. The
section again takes the form of step-by-step actions to gradually
ease into a happier, calmer and successful new way of life.
Examine ten transitioning strategies (Transitioning
Successfully)
to a successful life at home where the parent learns new ways
of managing time and children at home, and how to create a sustainable
safe haven for the whole family.
Finding Your Way Home is for all parents who feel that something
is not working in their overly busy working lifestyles. Who
feel that their children are being shortchanged, or perhaps
are showing discipline problems from a life gone out of control.
It's for those who feel constantly rushed; who long for quality
family time. It's for those with chronic stress-related health
problems; who perhaps feel helpless to make a change. And, fear
not Single Parents! You too can find your way home. There are
many options to full-time outside-the-home work arrangements.
See For Single Parents for more info. Finding Your Way Home will outline a systematic approach to taking control of a seemingly
impossible situation and turning it around to create a happier,
healthier lifestyle for the whole family.
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